


What’s Yours?

by muninnhuginn



Category: His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Genre: Humor, Poetry, Rap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 03:50:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21331807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muninnhuginn/pseuds/muninnhuginn
Summary: An attempt at a rap on the subject the daemons folk have--and dating. Contains mild innuendo.
Kudos: 1





	What’s Yours?

Guy in the corner by the name of Matt  
Says he’s gotta a soul mate that’s a fancy rat.  
Now fancy is as fancy goes:  
This plague carrier’s black from its tail to its nose.

What’s yours?

Now Amanda’s poison, has trouble with men,  
Has one night stands again and again.  
She’s on the prowl, her best friend beside her,  
So you’d better watch out for that black widow spider.

What’s yours?

What’s you daemon?  
What’s yours?  
Yeah, I really care.  
What’s yours?  
When it comes to friendship  
A girl’s gotta see what a guy’s gotta share.  
So what’s yours?

Look out back at that pale-faced boy,  
Long in the tooth, they call him Roy.  
Knows veins and art’ries, knows just where they’re at  
’Cos he’s gotta hungry daemon, a vampire bat.

  
What’s yours?

Shy little girl by the name of Glory  
Gets to the heart and guts of the story.  
Loves her alter ego, treats it right.  
Keeps her giant tapeworm tucked well outta sight.

What’s yours?

I’d like to know.  
What’s yours?  
Time for tell ’n’ show.  
What’s yours?  
Without no sharing  
Both of you’d better just get up and go.  
What’s yours?

The bloke at the bar, he drives a truck,  
He’s a tattooed bruiser who don’t give a fuck,  
If you mess with his daemon, you’re all outta luck:  
’Cos his turned out to be a rubber duck.

_They don’t inflate. (...usually...)_

What’s yours?

_What’s mine? See that polar bear over there. That’s the one. You wanna... say "hello"? No? Later, maybe. Just watch out though: if you mess with me.... You and whose army? You wanna pick a fight? Have you seen the claws he’s got... and the armour? Nah, he’s my real sweetheart. And you’ve still not told me what yours is. Scared or summat? Think it won’t match up. No, look, he’s a teddy bear, really, just so long as you don’t lay a finger.... Yes, you just gotta keep your cool. Now, what’s yours? A what? Don’t make me laugh. Really? **That’s** yours?_

Last comes Samantha, once quite a dish,  
Wouldn’t have carped if hers were a fish.  
Well, a gold one it wasn’t, poor Samanth’  
Turned out her daemon was a coelacanth.

What’s yours?

’Cos you sure look fine.  
What’s yours?  
Don’t go wasting my time.  
What’s yours?  
I’ll make you a pledge  
If you get yours out then  
I’ll show you mine.  
Go on, what’s yours?

So take care with your tankard if yours is a slug:  
It’s hard climbing out of a straight-sided mug.  
But don’t pause to complain, get them outta the house,  
The day you find your cheating lover’s daemon’s a louse.

So, what’s yours?


End file.
